Today is my birthday, and I treated myself to two new tires. Yep. Tires. Not diamonds or rubies, or flowers and chocolates, but tires. There is something very wrong about buying yourself tires on your birthday. It is just too freaking practical. Necessary, but practical.
My parents called me this morning to wish me happy birthday. Here is how the conversation went:
Mom: Good morning! Happy Birthday!
Me: Thanks mom.
Mom: I feel so bad. I didn’t mail your card or birthday check. I am so consumed with this darned AT&T bullshit. I can’t believe they turned the phone off again! What a crock! I can’t wait to get this sorted out, and I’m going to do just what you said. I’m going to call Comcast and have them bundle the phone and cable. AT&T really sucks, you know?
Me: Well, you have a phone now, and that’s good. On Tuesday, call Comcast and get this switched over, ok?
Mom: What are you going to do for your birthday?
Me: One of my tires has a “tittie” and I’ve got to get it sorted out. I think that I’m going to go over to the Goodyear place and see what they can do about replacing it. These tires have over 65,000 miles on them, but the other three are in really good shape.
Mom: Well, I’ll send your check later today, and you can use the money toward two tires. You know, of course, that you’re going to have to buy two, right? They never want to replace just one tire, it makes the car ride strangely.
Me: Gee, Ma! I didn’t know you were such a “gear head.”
Mom: Haha! Here’s your dad, he wants to wish you a happy birthday.
Dad: Hi Sunshine! Happy Birthday!
Me: Thanks dad.
Dad: Just remember, kid: [in a sing-song voice] “Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Cry, and you cry alone!”
Me: Thanks, Dad [laughing].
Mom: Your dad just cracks me up sometimes!