conversations / elderly parents

My dad is old; or, “Damned stupid phone.”

Last Saturday was my dad’s 84th birthday.  As I’ve written about before, his health is not that great, but he’s still kicking it, still going out to get his lottery tickets, and still driving my mom a little nuts.

My folks have had a serious issue with AT&T and their U-Verse service.  Mom finally called them and told them to stuff it, and called Comcast (who, by the way has excellent customer service) and got them out to install their cable connection.  In the meantime, they have no telephone service, and I can only talk to them on the cellphone.  A cellphone that is not always charged.  A cellphone that is always hiding somewhere.

I share the above, because it took me most of the day to finally connect with my dad to wish him a happy birthday.  Here’s how the conversation went:

Me:  Hi Old Man! Happy Birthday!

Dad:  Thanks, kid. 

Me:  How are you feeling today?

Dad:  What?  I can’t hear you. Speak up.  You still there?  Damned stupid phone, hello?

Me:  Dad, I’m here.

Dad:  Oh. Ok.  Where’d you go?  Hello?  You there?

Me:  Dad!  Can you hear me now? 

Dad:  Yeah, there you are. 

 Me:  I didn’t send you anything for your birthday because I couldn’t think of anything that you need or would really want. 

Dad:  That’s ok.  Save your money.  We’re still eating all that darn fruit that you sent us for your mom’s birthday and mother’s day last week.

[ I sent my mom an arrangment from Incredible Edibles that they just loved!]

Me:  I took myself out to lunch this afternoon in honor of your birthday.

Dad:  Where did you go for lunch?

Me:  Went to a nice Mexican restaurant, and had some fajitas.

Dad:  Oh, boy, Mexican food, I’m not sure I would have chosen that restaurant, hmmm.  No.  Pretty sure I wouldn’t have wanted to eat there.   I don’t like Mexican food, its too spicy. 

Me:  Well, it was pretty good, and I enjoyed it.   Dad, I think you should send me a check for $25 to pay for the lunch I had in honor of your birthday, ok? (laughing)

Dad:  I don’t think so.  You know I don’t really like Mexican food.  If you had gone out for a steak or lobster, I would send you a check. [ lots more laughing …]

Me:  Ok, dad, I’ll remember that for next year.

Dad:  Huh?  What?  Can’t hear you again.  Damned stupid phone.


Close up of Dad


8 thoughts on “My dad is old; or, “Damned stupid phone.”

  1. Your dad sounds like a real character, he sounds so charming and funny. I hope he enjoyed his birthday.


  2. ROFLMAO! Well, Im glad it was not just me. After looking for the cell phone number for hours, I finally got “VOICEMAIL”. I do not know why I bothered to leave a message but I did. I finally got through on “Cell phone” next day and asked mom if she got the message that I called to wish Daddy a Happy Birthday. She said “No, I do not know how to get the messages off that phone”. LOL


  3. Love that story. My 88yr old Dad doesn’t want me to buy him anything cause he doesn’t need anything. Love the dogs. I have 2 shih Tzus.


  4. Hey! I didn’t even try that Mango candy, but I filled the candy bucket on my desk at work before going to an all day meeting and when I came back it was empty so I can vouch that engineers LOVE IT.

    Mango Momma


  5. You’re so blessed to still have both of your parents. How’s their dog doing? The one Cosmo likes so much.

    Your roses are gorgeous! Can’t believe your dogs leave the bushes alone and Cosmo doesn’t pee all over them. Unless the bushes are in the front yard?


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