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Mom Called to Say Thanks For the Package; And, That Ain’t All!

One thing you need to know is that I have a love/hate relationship with my downstairs closets.  I fill them up with stuff, and then when I open the door, the closet spits the crap right back at me.  I am tired of having all this stuff falling on my head when I try to cram more crap into the closet.  This past weekend, I decided to get going on cleaning out the closets, and as a result I made four huge bags of crap (along with a really big wicker hamper, and a tea-cup display rack) to donate back to the place from whence they came – the thrift store. 

I have had a large padded envelope floating around the car and then the house for a while, and I came across it again during my “rip it apart and clean out the closets saga” this past Saturday.  I put the envelope aside and filled it with a few things for my mom and dad: some Beanie Babies (bought as toys for the dogs from a yard sale – cheap!), some pinbacks for my dad’s collection, some Mary Kay samples from a friend, and a book or two.  Or, so I thought.

Here is the conversation I had with my mom yesterday afternoon:

Me:  Hey mom, what’s shaking?

Mom:  We got the package in the mail today.  I really appreciate the Mary Kay stuff.

Me:  That’s good, my friend Marcy’s sister sent it to me, but I know you like Mary Kay.

Mom:  Your father really liked all of the pins too.  His ball cap is covered with all of the pins we’ve collected for him.  The hat weighs about 5 or 6 pounds!  He says it’s too heavy to wear, so he’s going to start another cap.

Me: I figured he would like the pins.  Did you like the little Beanie Babies?  Misty will love playing with them.

Mom:  Yeah, they’re cute.  But, I have a question for you …. Why did you send the other thing?

Me:  What thing is that mom?

Mom:  Well, your father got a great laugh about it, but I’m kind of confused.  Why would you send me a Tampon?

Me:  Huh?

Mom:  Yep, there was a Kotex Tampon in the envelope, too. 

Me:  Mom, that envelope has been floating around for a long time, so who knows how that happened.

Mom:  Well, its still weird.  What am I supposed to do with it?

Me:  Throw it in the trash, it doesn’t matter.

Mom:  No, I’ll save it for you or your sister.  You can never have enough Tampons in the house, you know?

Me:  Sure mom, whatever you decide.

Mom:  Do you want me to mail it back to you?  You might need it.

Me:  No, don’t send it back, just leave it under the sink in the bathroom, ok?

Mom:  Ok, if you’re sure you don’t need it back.

Me:  Mom, which of the Beanie Babies did you like the best?

Mom:  You’re weird, you know that?

Me [thinking … what’s that saying?  “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”]


7 thoughts on “Mom Called to Say Thanks For the Package; And, That Ain’t All!

  1. You mom reminds me of my mom, who would have mailed it back to me! And then she would have asked me every time we talked if I’d gotten it yet!


  2. ROFLMAOFF. Well, maybe I should check my mailbox? That made my night, and I can go to sleep now, after watching this horrible show , and I was like A deer caught in the headlights, I just could not turn off the tv until mother nature did it for me. HAve had no power, just got it back on. 5 inches of rain, and Kaylee is about to collapse from a heart attack. We had something like 350 strikes of lightning in less then an hour. Good thing Clover was not here too.


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