My parents have been instructed to NEVER call me at work unless it is an emergency, as in someone has died, they won the lottery (again), or we went to war with the neighbors over oil and gas rights. This evening, my desk phone rang, and when I looked over and saw the phone number, I picked it up with a “Hi. Who died?”
Here’s the conversation with my mom:
Mom: I just wanted to make sure you were safe. Did the storms do any damage at your house? Is the roof still there? Any trees down?
Me: I’m fine mom, but I’m at work so I won’t know about any problems until I get home later.
Mom: Oh. Ok. What about this morning? Did you have any problems with the storm this morning?
Me: No. We didn’t have any rain at all this morning out by me.
Mom: Ok. I was really worried. Did you see the photos of that apartment building where the roof blew off? Was that anywhere near you?
Me: No mom. We had no problems this morning by me, and I won’t know about the storms this evening until I get home from work in a couple of hours.
Mom: Did you give Clover her “crazy pill” before you left for work? That poor dog. She really is a basket case, you know.
Me: Yep, mom. I know.
Mom: Good. Wait a minute, here’s your father.
Dad: Just checking to see if you’re ok.
Me: I’m fine dad – I’m at work right now. Hey, dad, I had an e-mail from someone that I know online about a 6-month old male Golden Retriever puppy that needs a home. The dog was rescued from an abusive situation and was practically starved to death, he only weighs about 35 pounds. I was thinking maybe you and mom might want to help this poor pathetic little guy and give him a home.
Dad: Here’s your mother. (Laughing in the background.)
Mom: What did you say to make him laugh. He looks like he’s going to pee his pants, and believe me he doesn’t need any help with that.
Me: [Repeating the info about the Golden Retriever puppy.]
Mom: Oh My God! I would take that little guy in a heartbeat! [Insert my dad in the background … “For God’s sake, hang up the phone.”]
Me: Tell dad it’s a little male puppy. Maybe that would help change his mind.
Mom: [Yelling at my dad …. Gerry! You wouldn’t be the only one in the house peeing standing up if we got a little boy dog.]
Dad: [Yelling at my mom … Hang Up The Damned Phone! I don’t want another dog. Ever. We’re too damned old for a puppy.]
Mom: Call me tomorrow to let me know if your roof is still attached, ok?
Me: What about the puppy? Mom? You there? Hello?