thanksgiving dinner

The VCR is Broken and I Can’t Cook Without It and It’s All Your Fault!

For as many years as I can remember, my sister and then brother-in-law loaded up the kids and came to our parents’ for the holidays.  Way back in the mid-1980’s, my sister decided that she wanted to make Thanksgiving dinner at home, and that they wouldn’t be coming to the folks’ house that year.  No big deal.  Except, back then, Sister couldn’t cook very well.

I gave her a “How to Cook Thanksgiving” cooking tape for her birthday that year.  The tape came with a small cookbook, and was about an hour long.  Sister watched that video from June to November, and a few days before Thanksgiving, she did the shopping for all of the items needed to make dinner.  Turkey, oysters for the stuffing (yuck), creamed carrots, yeast rolls, etc.  She called me in a panic when she couldn’t find any “unbleached muslin fabric” that the turkey just had to be covered in.  Apparently, after stuffing the turkey with oysters and cornbread, you trussed it, and slathered about two pounds of butter all over the skin, and then wrapped it tightly in muslin.  I told her that I didn’t think it made that much difference since mom never used muslin to cover the turkey, but she was adamant that she wasn’t going to deviate from the program.  Not one little bit.  It was all, or nothing!

So, Thanksgiving day arrives.  Sister has all of the ingredients lined up on the counter, and is ready to get started on cooking dinner.  She moved the TV into the dining room so she could see it from the kitchen, hooked up the VCR, popped in the video tape, and hit play.  Nothing.  Dead as a doornail.  Not working.  Pffft.

Sister calls my parents, and I answered the phone to hear “OH MY GOD. THE VCR IS BROKEN AND I CAN’T COOK THANKSGIVING DINNER.”  OK.  Seriously, take a deep breath, and start all over again.  “OH MY GOD.  THE VCR IS BROKEN AND I CAN’T COOK DINNER.”  I tried to make a joke and remind her that you don’t roast the turkey in the VCR but in the oven.  All she could yell was, “SMART ASS!  THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!  If you hadn’t given me that DAMNED video, we would be at mom and dad’s having a great dinner!

I am pretty sure they ate at KFC that night.

 

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6 thoughts on “The VCR is Broken and I Can’t Cook Without It and It’s All Your Fault!

  1. Such a typical sister response! It’s all your fault! I can hear my sister or myself saying it, since about the age of 4.

    Hey, one of the Thanksgiving cards has a dupe – if you want me to send it to you, I’d be happy to share it. Send a mailing address to my email above.

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  2. That was a very funny and well told! It put a smile on my face, but I am not sure if your sister will be impressed with the retelling. Hope she will see the funny side of it though. BTW, how’s her cooking skills now? And has she graduated to DVD’s?
    I can relate a similar type of story. A friend of mine really spoiled her daughter and did everything for her, even as she was in her late teens. One day the daughter rang her Mother in work and asked about using the washing machine, the amount of washing powder to use, where to put it, the settings, etc. The Mother patiently explained everything to her. Ten minutes later the Daughter rings her back and asks, “Mum – where IS the washing machine?”

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  3. You know what? I really don’t even like turkey. LOL. And now, I have a b/f who is a WONDERFUL cook, and i barely step into that room, that has the microwave. LOL But I do cook a mean fish!!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (but only when I am in the mood) And a good lean cuisine too :) lol I mean whats better then having your dinner in 6 minutes or less, all i have to do is cut the film and let it cool, and then mix it up and eat. Life should be simple, my motto

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