Two Barking Dogs

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Be Ready for Anything!
I went to a sale a couple of years ago with my lovely dog Clover in tow. Wonderful day with gorgeous weather. The first yard sale of the day was in a very posh neighborhood that was littered with yard sale signs and arrows pointing me this way and that. I stopped at a very promising looking yard sale that was advertised to start at 8:00 a,m. I was there at 7:50 a.m. — a bit early but not THAT bad. I got out of the car and asked the man that was setting up if I could look around or would he prefer for me to wait. He said, “no problem, I’m not totally ready yet, but you can look around.” So, I did. I found some wonderful vintage straw pocketbooks, and a Russian mink hat, and a box filled with blue glass bottles and bowls, along with a whole bunch of other fun things. I was there for about 30 minutes looking around and was the only person at the sale. All the time, I’m thinking “Woohoo! what fun stuff, and I’m by myself.”

At some point in my shopping, the man’s wife came out and sat at a table at the top of the driveway with a money box and a calculator and pad and pencil and a box of newspapers for packaging items. I said hello, she smiled and said hello back. I asked if it was ok to take the box that I was filling up and put it by the table. She looked at her husband and he shook his head yes. She said yes.

After a total of 45 minutes, a couple of boxes of really neat stuff, I asked if I could pay. At that moment, the nice woman became a little bit crazy! She said she wasn’t ready yet, and looked at the husband who reassured her that it was ok. She kept saying, “No, I’m not ready yet. Go away. Come back later. No, not ready. Don’t want to sell any of this stuff.” And it went on, louder and louder. All the time, I’m thinking I stepped into a Yard Sale run by Alan Funk or the Twilight Zone people.

I started to get annoyed, but decided I was dealing with someone that was non compos mentis. I asked the husband to step in and sort this all out. At this point, the rather large woman got up and grabbed a broom and started waving it around … I backed up a few feet … and literally, the woman chased me down the driveway with the broomstick swinging about. The husband caught her, directed her back to the table and chair, all the time trying to calm his wife down.

At this point Clover is barking her head off and about to jump out the window of the car to come to my assistance. I was pretty shocked by the lady’s behavior and sat in the car or a minute thinking about what had just transpired. As I drove away, the man, who obviously had his hands full, said “Don’t worry, she’ll be back. You’re doing fine.”

Not. And, Not.

Don’t Fight in Public
For the last couple of years, I have stopped at a yard sale around the corner from me, pretty much because its on the way out of the neighborhood and right on my way. Every time I have stopped at this sale, which looks pretty organized (and over-priced), the woman having the sale is sitting on the front stoop with a money box in her lap. She’s always pleasant, says hello, etc. And, the boor of a husband is always there too. He is either berating her for her idea of having a sale in the first place, yelling at her that she’s not making enough money to make it worthwhile, or he’s interrupting her while she’s selling something to ask idiotic questions like “where’s lunch.” (Oh, I don’t know … in the kitchen, maybe?) This last time, he yelled at her that if she didn’t buy such junk all the time, they wouldn’t be in such dire straits financially.

So, today’s bit of advice to this neighbor of mine? Lock the husband inside next time.

Know Your Address!
This is fellow yard sale afficianado Colette’s story. Its too good not to share! With her permission:
Several years ago I stopped in an area that was having neighborhood sales. I walked into this garage, looked around and was vaguely disappointed at the meager selection. There were a number of bicycles out in the driveway, but not much going on in the garage. And to top it off, nothing was priced. The man who I thought was running the sale kind of looked at me in a bewildered way when I inquired about one of the items. Well, you probably guessed it…I was wandering around in a garage that wasn’t part of the neighborhood sale! Needless to say, from that point on I checked my addresses more carefully.

Pick a Price, Any Price! Part Deux
I found a good amount of cross-stitch, embroidery, and crewel kits at a sale today put on by the Boy Scouts. Each “area” had volunteers to help and collect payment, in turn the volunteer cashiers put stickers on the items marking them sold. When I asked the lady in the craft section to tally my purchases and this was the conversation:

• Me: Can I pay you for these items?
• Lady: Sure. Hmmm. How does $20 sound?
• Me: Not so good, actually.
• Lady: Really? Hmmm. How does $15 sound?
• Me: Not any better. How about $10?
• Lady: OK.

The volunteer cashier caved in pretty quickly! I wish I had offered $5 just to see how low she would go!

Pick a Price, Any Price!
The lady was selling a bunch of board games. A couple of them were new and the one that was not looked like it had been used once. There was a Guesstures, Star Wars & Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit Games.

The conversation went something like this:

• Me: How much do you want for the board games?
• Lady: Ummm. I’m not sure. Hmmm. I think $2.00 each?
• Lady: Oh. I don’t know. Hmmm. How about $1.00 each?
• Lady: My, oh my. I don’t know. Hmmm. I think, hmmm, 50 cents each.

I never said a word until she was finished. I kept thinking at some point she was going to pay me to take the games! I forked over $1.50 quickly.

Word to the Wise
If you are going to allow people into your house for a sale – please clean up before flinging your doors open! Last week, I went to a yard sale around the corner. My mom said she didn’t want to go into the house because my nephew used to be friends with the kid that lived there and used to call him “dirty boy.” Should have been a tipoff. What a mess. I probably would have bought more if I didn’t have that creepy bug feeling while I was looking at items on the patio. And, the smell from the giant bowl of crusty old dog food didn’t help either. CLEAN YOUR HOUSE, or haul your stuff to the driveway so no one can see what a pig you are. (Note: I bought some glass and ceramic items .. things that could be easily washed.) Yuck.

Karma and The Painting Nabber
Last year, I stopped at a great yard sale in Cherrydale (Arlington, VA). Its a great old community with mixed housing of single family homes, townhouses, apartments. There are always good sales in Cherrydale, but I like the organized community sales the best. More people selling! A huge painting about 8 ft x 10 ft with wonderful bright colors caught my eye. My first impression was that it was African, but after a minute or two, I realized it was Haitian. I really wanted it for my guest room and was talking with the seller about the price. Now, I am an experienced yard saler. I hardly ever pay the asking price for anything. When the seller quoted me $30, I countered with $20. She was in the process of deciding whether to take the $20, when a woman came up behind me, grabbed the painting that was leaning against the house, threw $30 at the woman quick as could be and said, “I’ll take it.” She moved so quickly, I couldn’t even react! By the time I realized what had happned, she had the painting shoved into the back of her car. The only way the painting would fit was with the hatchback door open. Nasty little witch just smiled at me and said “You snooze, you lose.”

I was not heartbroken about losing out on the painting, mind you. What I was annoyed with was the smarmy comment from the painting nabber. (As a result of this encounter, I now always keep my hand on any item that I am discussing with the seller – my form of claiming ownership.)

While driving around the neighborhood looking for other sales, I spotted the painting nabber a couple of times as she zoomed through intersections and up and down streets looking for other sales — the hatchback door of the vehicle flapping up and down and hitting the painting. At one point, she was next to me at a stoplight. When she realized it was me, she waved at me like we were friends. When the light changed, she hit the gas to zoom through the intersection and the painting came flying out of the back of the car where it was promptly run over by the car behind her. (added 3/20/08)

How to Sell A Lamp
Many years ago, I had a yard sale with my mom. We had loads of good stuff including two really big table lamps with shades. The lamps had tipped over on the lawn, and one lady went to look at the lamps and noticed the neighbors cat asleep inside the lampshade. Now, that cat had a history with us — he belonged to our next door neighbor and was constantly attacking our cat. He would climb up and walk across the pool screen enclosure, sometimes ripping the screens, or falling through them into the pool. He also liked to pee anywhere near my car or on my car. (Think South Florida summer heat …. You get the idea – that cat didn’t have a warm spot in my heart.)

The lady freaked out and said how much the cat reminded her of her cat that had just died … she picked him up and he PURRED! She wouldn’t put him down, and she started to cry. She kept going on and on about how the cat reminded her of “Fluffy.” I asked her if she wanted to take the cat home with her, and she looked at me like I had told her she won the lottery. She was so happy! She loaded the cat up in the car, came back for the lamps, and tried to give me $10 for the cat. I wouldn’t take her money. I told her how happy we would be to see that the “New Fluffy’ was going to such a wonderful home.

It all happened so fast. My mom came over to me and when I told her what I had done, I thought she was going to kill me! Then I noticed she was trying not to laugh! If I remember correctly, she paid $20 for the lamps, too. The sad thing about the whole story — the neighbor whose cat it was didn’t know it was missing for about a week.

How Not to Sell at a Yard Sale
I once spotted a rattan etegere with nice deep shelves that stood about 6 feet high. It would have looked great in my guest room (after I painted it white). When I asked the price, I was told $30. Not bad. I looked at other stuff, made the move toward the car, turned around and asked if they would take $20. The lady huffed at me “Certainly not!” said she. She was really upset that I offered less, and was saying so to her husband. I was about to give in and offer the $30 if the husband would help me put in the truck. The wife was still pissed off and as I was about to say “I’ll take it,” a gust of wind came along, blew the etegere down the drive way, yanking the bottom doors off as it went. She looked at me like I had thrown it down the drive way (I was a good 20 feet away, I swear). As I turned to leave, I said “never mind.” There was no way she was going to get her $30 now!

Who Let the Dogs Out?
One Saturday, I was about done for the day, and at the last sale for the day, I got into the car to leave with a couple of treasures. Clover was in the back seat enjoying the nice weather and barking at the little kids playing on the lawn.

As we were pulling away, the people across the street were racing across their lawn trying to corral two very large Chow dogs that obviously had gotten loose and had no intention of being put in the house or yard or on the leash. I pulled ahead carefully and Clover started barking at the dogs running loose. The dogs proceeded to run after us – so I stopped. When I did, one of them tried to jump in the front window! The young man trying to catch the dogs … runs down the sidewalk calling them … and they take off again. I decided to just sit there and watch (and not run over the dogs as they darted back and forth.)

With that, an SUV with two people come around the corner. They have the back gate down on the SUV and when they stopped at the stop sign, the two dogs jump into the back of the SUV! The guy puts the car in park, and he and the wife jump out and start running up the neighbors’ lawn. The two Chows jump into the front seats and nice as can be just sit there. By now the owner catches up with the dogs and the SUV all huffing and puffing and out of breath.

The SUV driver tells the guy to get in the car and drive his dogs home, then come back for them! People from the sale and neighbors all converged to watch the whole thing. I hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time.

Man Driven Insane by Victorian Embroidery Book!
I stopped at a very large yard sale one Saturday that was billed as a fund raiser for a local charity. I like fund raisers because the people selling the stuff have no emotional connection to the donated items and their main objective is to sell everything before the end of the day.

Mickey Mouse headboard, bags and bags of clothing, housewares, and the driveway was lined with about 100 boxes overflowing with books of all kinds. I started at the bottom of the driveway, and made my way to the top in record time. I kept pulling out books as I went and put them in my shopping bags off to one side (about 25 in all). I got to the last box in the line on one side and out of nowhere this old guy (at least 70) butts me to the side as I reach for a book on Victorian embroidery. He yells at me “You can’t have them all.” He grabs the book, runs to the cashier, throws a dollar bill at the lady and jumps in his truck … laying rubber as he goes.

As you can imagine, I was pissed off for two reasons. One, was the fact that he had almost knocked me to the ground, and second because I KNEW that book was worth at least $75 on Amazon.

The funny thing was, he probably only bought the book because he was annoyed with me for some unfathomable reason … and didn’t even realize what he had in his hand.